Is Dating Dead?

Remember when Chivalry was dying.....well now dating might actually be dying with it.
Before I get into my view, let me tell you where it comes from. According to Moira Weigel at the NY Times, dinner and a movie has been replaced with Netflix and chill. This is because  the economy and long work weeks leave us with little time to court and anyone who looks at this with fear or disdain, is similar to our forefathers and mothers who thought that going "going steady"(dating) was wrong.

So for anyone who isn't familiar with it(don't worry I had to google it too) "Netflix and chill" is a (sleazy and easy) way to get someone over to your house so that you can engage in...er coitus.

However Weigel forgets about an entire group of people in this new era of dating. The ones that are practically asexual, because they can't find a good date, noone wants a committed relationship and Netflix and Chill is just not ok to them. As a result they've found that going asexual is the only way to keep their sense of self and morality intact in an age where sex is being sold like fast-food.

So here's my perspective. For one, I don't like how the article is trying to normalise casual sex. I get the whole "feminist" view on it, but as a feminist myself, I still believe that there are psychological drawbacks for both parties in casual sex. Also, I'm of the feminist who believes that masculinising the woman does not a gender equal society make. Instead it is about celebrating the feminine, no longer revering it or placing double standards on women and rebuilding the classic family nucleus with a more balanced and equal repartition of power.

I do believe that we all, men and women, go through a Netflix and Chill moment and that none should be shamed for it. Maybe we just got out of a bad breakup, are busy with work or maybe we are just horny. However, if social shaming were aside, more people and in particular women, would be open to admit that becoming a spinster was not their primary goal in life and that it wasn't just Big Bad Disney movies that indoctrinated women to want commitment. Also they would admit that casual sex, just like fast food, seems like a good idea at the time and makes you feel icky the next day.

So I also have to critique Weigel's way of tying Netflix and Chill into the economy. For one this is a good analysis and very accurate, but making it "Ok" attests to the idea that as humans we are just moving parts in the system of capitalism who should blindly accept all of its drawbacks without question. Sacrificing the Family Unit,Love and close relationships for the mere reason that we "don't have time" is signing away your right to the last joys of life that are left in favour of more money. But more money for who, are you earning more or are other people? I'll leave that question open.

"Love is an Activity" says Erich Fromm(The Art of Loving) and not something we should "fall into." And the idea of turning love into a commodity based on the "market value" of the individual is not a bad idea for capitalism but a terrible idea for building families and communities, which psychologist say is an important link to happiness and well-being.

I'm of the opinion that certain things like Love and Food should never be Fcked with. Look what happened with the food industry. We started messing with it, people got fat and sick and now we have to go back to "organic food." When in fact an "organic" tomato is just a normal tomato that your grandmother ate 50 years ago. I mean why is it that Romeo and Juliet is still the number one love story of our time? And why is it that we still  that we still don't fully understand the science of Love?We keep wracking our brains about it, because we keep fucking with it and then expect love to just "happen."

You want love to happen? stop Netflix and Chilling. You want love to happen? Quit texting and start talking. You want it to happen? forget about Channing Tatums and Megan Fox's, you've been overstimulated.  Just like with switching from artificial to natural foods, adjust your palette. The good stuff won't always taste as good as the fake junk, but it's better for you in the long run. Take a second look at the shy receptionist, or the nice guy getting your coffee. Go green for love, and search for that natural organic feeling!

here is the NY Times article:http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/15/opinion/sexual-freelancing-in-the-gig-economy.html?_r=0

Ro-Z World: Starting Fresh

Ro-Z World: Starting Fresh: Ahhhh there's nothing better than a good fresh start, to cover up all the crappy stuff you wrote when you were young and dumb. A lot ...

Starting Fresh

Ahhhh there's nothing better than a good fresh start, to cover up all the crappy stuff you wrote when you were young and dumb. A lot of people like to erase their younger pasts, but since I think that all our youthful blips and imperfections are what make us awesome and beautiful I'm just going to start yet another blog and keep all my other silly ones up.
You can scroll through them, laugh and even cringe at them whenever you want.

But for now I'm on a new journey and I need to write about it. So here's kind of the deal. Eight years ago, I moved to Madrid, Spain from Geneva, Switzerland. For anyone who has actually lived in Geneva instead of those who just assume its for rich brats(you are partly right) you know that life there is overpriced, cold and boring as fuck. So moving to Spain was a dream come true. I had great friends, went to a cool laid back College and didn't give a damn about my future. Life was blissful. All I cared about was, partying, boys and shopping. Since I'm not a total dits, I still got through school with pretty good grades and enjoyed the occasional intellectual conversation. But let's just say I discovered "Spanish culture" through other activities and never actually got to know my own talents and passions.

Then I turned 22 and shit hit the fan. Two guys I was simultaneously dating, simultaneously dumped me. My mom passed away of breast cancer. My house in S
witzerland got sold. My best friend and I had a terrible fight and like in all great divorces, I took the cat and she took...well, the rest of my friends. And of course....I graduated.

I know what you're thinking...what's wrong with graduating? Ahahahah you poor naive undergrad. Everything is wrong with graduating. Fuck puberty, graduating is the most awkward and uncomfortable change that you will ever go through in your life. Especially when its coupled with losing your mom,guys and friends.

Its like, you just went through the best years of your life. You partied hard, saved the world and dated as much as you wanted without being judged and now you are ejected into this place where nobody actually gives a shit about who you are, how "cool" you are or how attractive you think you are. And yes the happier you are the more eager they are to exploit and tear you down. Sounds kind of harsh doesn't it.

So what did I do, how did I survive? I was always driven by two things in my happiest and darkest times: Knowledge and some sort of evolving spirituality. I never had very clear what it was I believed in but I knew that had something to do with being light, happy and having a god heart. All of that was tested many times after I graduated because the world is indeed full of terrible people who love to exploit the good.

They like to believe that the good are "weak" and that they must be stronger because they are so proud to exploit them. However, they fail to understand that their mere need to exploit others prophesses to a "need" or dependence, meaning that these so-called strong people actually lack energy and therefore are dependent on the energy of others. Whereas good people, like to help others. They have an abundance of energy and do not lose their source even when they give it away. So therefore good people have plenty of energy(even if they're mellow or introverted) and bad people are are running on E.

According to my good friend Google the definition of weak is

weak

wiːk/

adjective

1. 

lacking the power to perform physically demanding tasks; having little physical strength or energy.

Therefore, if you are a person who feels the need to lower other people's energy vibration or exploit their positive energy in order to feel energetic or "good about yourself" you are by definition Weak.

So that is what this Blog is basically about. I am here to unmask the false pretence that the good, those that fight for equality are dumb, weak, hippy dippy or bitter SJW's that are inefficient and unproductive. Im also here to use the best defence or weapon I've got: My Mind, to unpack why it's time for the arrogant and character disturbed  to have several seats. The good are a force to be reckoned with.

But before we get into all of that, let's go back to how I got through my darkest hour. I had a lot on my plate, grief, social rejection and self esteem issues. I remember being lost but I don't remember suffering as much as one would assume. The key to all of it was always being able to let go. I had to let go of my younger ego and dreams of grandeur and accept that my actual destiny was far greater and of course more tangible and realistic than any of my narcissistic fantasies.

So after spinning around in circles, getting tired of silly boys and serial monogamy, trying to be a masseuse, writer and god knows what else....I found my calling. It was always kind of there in the back of my head whining at me. But I was always like "aaaah too haard, I caaaaaan't, too much wooooooork." But then Rihanna was like "work work work work work work. "  So I was like ok fine might as well go back to school and become a psychologist, I mean gawsh what else am I gunna do!? Soo yeah.

Then everything actually magically fell into place. That and I stopped dating douchebags. Btw, note to all of you(men and women). If there is a member of the opposite sex in your life who claims to love you and always tells you that you have problems and are mentally crippled, they and most other people you date are the problem. You need to DUMP their ass, get ride of them and detox yourself from relationships in general. We'll get into that later on in the blog. Now I know I sound like one of those hardcore ppl that just broke up with someone, actually Ive been single for almost two years. That coupled with school has been the BEST decision Ive ever made in my life. I don't know why being single gets such a bad rep, it really is the best, now I know why guys have been doing it for so long!

Ever notice how the how being in a relationship is a hiatus from being single for men, but being single is a hiatus from being in a relationship for women.

Priorities Ladieeees, let's get our shit together!